Halloween Candies That Should Be Considered Illegal

Halloween Candies That Should Be Considered Illegal

Jesenia Garcia, Editor In Chief

Now that Halloween has passed and stomach aches are settled, I think it’s appropriate to discuss which Halloween candies should be considered illegal at this point. I’m going to be ranking several candies from most tolerable to absolutely inedible.

  1. TWIX

Twix is probably the only candy on this list that I would possibly eat. A Twix Bar consists of a shortbread/biscuit core underneath a layer of caramel, coated in chocolate. I’m not the biggest fan of chocolate but I do indulge here and there. On the other hand, I do not like caramel whatsoever.  However, in the past I have enjoyed a Twix a few times so that’s how it earned its spot at number 10. 

  1. BUTTERFINGERS

First and foremost, peanut butter should never be crispy.  A Butterfinger is a layered peanut crisp which is covered in chocolate. I despise peanut butter, I don’t enjoy the flavor or the consistency. I’m actually quite fond of the peanut butter chocolate combination like in a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup for example. Yet the thought of Butterfingers just makes me nauseous but it is one of the more tolerable candies on this list.

 

  1. MILKY WAY

A Milky Way Chocolate Bar is made up of nougat topped with caramel and like many other candies on this list, covered in chocolate. First of all, I don’t even know what nougat is but it doesn’t sound the least bit appetizing. Based on google searches, I’m not the only one with this opinion. Almost any candy containing caramel qualifies to be on this list.

  1. WHOPPERS

Whoppers are definitely one of the more enjoyable Halloween candies to many people, excluding myself. They are malted milk balls with a chocolate coating. If my memory serves me right, they’re sweet, crunchy, and chocolatey. Personally, I just don’t like them at all. People who willingly eat and enjoy Whoppers kind of concern me. They’re not good and these are the candies I always leave at the bottom of my candy bags. 

  1. DOTS

Dots are one of the last tolerable candies on this list. However, I don’t really think I have to explain the ranking of these flavorless gumdrops that have the consistency of wax. A package of Dots includes several flavors such as lemon, grape, cherry, and green apple. Somehow they manage to all taste the same. They also get stuck in your teeth which is just more of a reason as to why I don’t like them. I didn’t think there could be anything worse than Dots but to my surprise, I was wrong.

  1. 3 MUSKETEERS

From me, it’s an immediate no. There is not one redeemable part of a 3 Musketeers Bar. A 3 Musketeers consists of some sort of fluffy whipped moose covered in chocolate. The chocolate itself isn’t even good or edible for that matter. The moose filling sort of resembles a marshmallow almost, yet I’m not a fan of marshmallows either so these are just a big no from me. The texture of the filling resembles sticky goo that is not appetizing by any stretch of the imagination. 

  1. TWIZZLERS

In my opinion, Twizzlers are like a sad wannabe version of Red Vines (which are amazing) yet they’re nowhere near as enjoyable. They’re meant to resemble licorice but I think they resemble artificially flavored plastic. To me, Twizzlers kind of taste like Dots but way worse. 

  1. MILK DUDS

There’s actually many people who enjoy Milk Duds. Milk Duds are caramels which are, you guessed it, covered in chocolate. If it wasn’t already obvious, I would rather not consume candies containing chocolate or caramel. This combination especially just makes me want to give up sugar altogether. Even though Milk Duds are quite popular among many people, I’m still genuinely shocked when someone tells me they enjoyed these candies. 

  1. ALMOND JOY

I don’t believe I’ve met a single person who willingly eats and enjoys Almond Joys. An Almond Joy is made up of sweetened shredded coconut topped with whole Almonds and covered in chocolate. I love chocolate covered almonds so the first time I saw this candy I was excited to try it. The first time I ever ate an Almond Joy was the day I realized I do not like coconut. You can find these left at the bottoms of almost everyone’s candy bags. 

  1. CANDY CORN

Saving the worst for last and taking the title of the worst Halloween candy to date is Candy Corn. If only one Halloween candy were to be considered illegal, it’d be Candy Corn. Not only does Candy Corn have the most artificial taste ever, but it also has the texture of those wax bottle candies. People who say they love Candy Corn are lying to themselves and no one could convince me otherwise.  

Ultimately, these are the candies you will just never catch me eating.